Oops! A booboo!

Dessie, my little Pocket goat doeling, has a booboo in her left eye.  It's all red and yucky looking.  Noticed it last night when I was feeding.  Well, I caught her and tried to look at it.  What a joke!  She was having no part of that.  All I could see was that it was red all around and looked like she had a marble in there instead of an eye.  Ok, so she likely poked it on something or it could be pink eye.  Pink eye is very contagious.  So, I treated it with Polysporin eye drops.  That was a whole new wrestling match that I'm pretty sure my little 15 lbs doeling won.  I did get the drop in her eye but I had way more bruises that she did.  Then I let her go back to her mom for the night.  I didn't think, at that point, it could be pink eye as it came on so suddenly, we've never had a case of pink eye here and there are no new goats in the pasture.  She was fine in the afternoon and then BAM!  So I came in and looked up pictures of pinkeye in goats.  Nope, doesn't look like that.  

So now, two days after starting the write this and not having time, her eye still has some red in it but it is getting better.  Chelsea is home now so she can hold the little devil.  I have been giving her 1 cc Pen Pro and drops in her eye and there is definite improvement.  I'm thinking she'll be right as rain in a day or two.  I'd like to know what she did to herself but she's not talking!

Two posts in less than a week??

Beautiful little BJS Ophelia has finally gone to her forever home with Anne and Ed of Dunnville, Ontario.  She will be joining their small herd of Percy, Mowbray and Alexander.  Ophelia is one of the many kids born in Mar and April of 2011 but for some reason she was never chosen to go to a forever home until now.  Everyone seemed to pass over her even though she is cute and colourful and quite little for her age.  At last she can run and play with kids her own age with no big bully goats to push her around and she will get the best care in the world as Anne and Ed take wonderful care of their little herd and love them dearly.   YAY  Ophelia!!

In other farm news, it's poring rain right now.  It's better than snow.  Well, not much but at least we don't have to shovel it.  I spend altogether too much time shoveling stuff to be shoveling snow too. 

Breeding season is well under way.  Some of the girls have already been bred and are back out with the herd.  Cinda, Rhea, Sprocket and Aura have all been bred.  Not too sure about the rest as  not all the girls make it obvious when they are in heat.  So we just have to wait and see if they get the boys all worked up.  If not, then maybe, just maybe, they are bred.  Oh!  I can't wait for kidding season!!

Now, a word about hunting.

I don't want to offend anyone here....oh crap...maybe I do.  BUT, I don't like hunting.  That is not to say I think no one should ever hunt anything.  Of course you should hunt if you will starve to death if you don't hunt.  (Can't really see that happening in Campbellville but there you go.)  I also believe that it is more humane for a deer to be shot than to starve to death in the winter because there are too many deer and not enough food.

But, I've got a really problem with those macho men (and women) who head out to the back 40 and plug anything that moves with their trusty shot gun.  You see, we live on the edge of a forest that is about 200 acres and even though it is private property I've been hearing shot gun blasts and the occasional rifle crack out there all day.   RIFLE???  Did I say RIFLE??  Yes, I did.  Ok, so right now and for the next 3 days it is hunting season in our neck of the woods but it is hunting season for SHOT GUN and BOW ONLY.  No rifles are allowed.  There's a reason for this.  You see, a shot gun will make a very big noise and shoot a whole bunch of pellets or one good sized slug at a great velocity toward the intended target but you had better be fairly close to that target or the shot is going to run out of steam and flop on the ground like a wet noodle.  The range of the slug depends on the shot gun type, the slug type and many other factors.  I won't go into them here because it would bore most goat owners to death and the ones it wouldn't bore already know what those factors are.    Anyway, my point is shot gun hunting is allowed for 5 days in the fall to help control the deer population in a humane way and most innocent bystanders are relatively safe in their own back yards during the shotgun season because shot guns don't shoot very far.  You need to be fairly close to your target.  However, a rifle is a different story altogether.  A .22 caliber rifle can shoot a projectile, namely a .22 caliber bullet about a mile and a half.  That's not to sat you could shoot flies off a pigs back at a mile and a half.  You'd be lucky to hit the pig but accuracy is not he issue.  Sudden death from a stray bullet is.  Let's say Joe Mean the hunter is back in the forest behind my pasture hunting wolverines with his trusty .303.  Well, first off, Joe Mean is an idiot because there aren't any wolverines in Campbellville but aside from that, let's say he sees something move in the bushes and decides that must be the allusive wolverine he's been tracking.  So...BAMM...he shoots but he misses.  OHOH.  Where the heck did that silly bullet go?  Let's say Joe Mean was facing MY direction when he fired his trusty .303.  Let's say I'm just out standing in my field (pun intended) and THWACK!!  I take one right between the up rights.  Well, DAMN!!  How the heck did that happen??  Joe Mean was a mile back in the forest.  Unh hunh....and how far will a bullet travel?  So you see my point.

So I get to listen to BLAMM  BLAMM  BLAMM all day long, my dogs are going completely nutso cus they know something is in the forest and they can't get to it to shred it like an old paper towel, and I get shot between the ears.  No, I'm not a fan of hunting.

I would think most hunters are safety conscious, know their fire arms and know their targets.  I would expect that most hunters would not shoot at something unless they were 100% sure that what they are aiming at is what they are allowed to shoot.  I expect that most hunters are responsible citizens that leave the alcohol at home when driving to their desired hunting spot.  I expect that most hunters would not hunt on private property that has NO HUNTING signs posted every 50 feet or so.

And I expect I'd be wrong on all counts.

Hunting in the forest behind us is illegal.  Why?   It's private property and I know the owner well and know he would not give anyone permission to hunt back there.  

Hunting during off season is illegal.  Why?  Kind of obvious, isn't it?

Hunting with rifles in this area is illegal.  Why?  See above concerning distance.

Three strikes, you're out!

If it looks, smells and sounds like an idiot, it's probably an idiot.

Written with sincere apologies to all the responsible hunters that are given a bad name by idiots.

Pictures of BJS Iris and her broken horn.

Yeah, i'm still behind....

Good intentions aside, I'm just not getting the part about keeping this blog up to date.  Oh, I think about all the neat things I want to tell you about, usually when I'm down at the barn.  By the time I get back up to the house and sit down in front of my computer, I've either forgotten what I wanted to write or completely forget to write anything at all.

Anyway, since my last post at the end of September, quite a bit has happened.  All the breeders, with the exception of Pebbles and Spooky have been put in the breeding pens.  Hocus has his girl in the SE pen, Pizzazz and his girls are in the SW pen, Captain and ladies in the NW pen and the two little boys who are not big enough to put in with the big boys yet, Propero and Caesar, are in the NW pen.

Funny thing is, Captain, my highly aggressive little pipsqueak of a Nigerian Dwarf buck, is beside and in sight of Pizzazz, my very large but not aggressive Myotonic buck.  He spends more time bashing his head on the dividing fence then he does looking at or wooing his ladies.  I haven't seen him breed anybody!!  That doesn't mean he hasn't...oh and that's a lie anyway, I did see him breed Sprocket so she is back out with the herd.  The other day Captain was bashing his stupid skull on the fence for all he was worth and Pizzazz was just kind of standing there looking at him.  Pizzazz would make some noises and take a step forward like he was going to bash the crap out of the little @#!# but wouldn't actually do anything.  So  BAM BAM BAM goes Captain and then all of a sudden BUWHAMMMM!!!!  goes Pizzazz.  Damn near broke through the fence!  Guess he's had enough or Captain's constantly racket gave him a headache.  So I'm running around trying to find more wood to shore up the fence and once again I hear  BUWHAMMM!!!  CRACK!!!!  OHOH!!  So, Pizzazz hit the fence again and this time all but broke through.  OH CRAP!!!  Ok, so get the drill, get the wood, get the screws.  Run like the dickens to the pen, dropping screws and drill on the way, run back, pick up the drill and screws, drop the drill again, swear, run back to the pen, realize that I left the dril on the ground, swear again, well, you get the picture.  So, I've got the wood, the screws, the drill and a couple of very angry goats.
Step One:  Distract the goats with treats.
Step Two:  Hold up the board to be attached to the fence to reinforce it.
Step Three:  Distract the goats again.
Step Four:  Quickly grab a screw, hold up board and drill the screw into the board.
Step Five:  Take screw out and reposition board.
Step Six:  Distract goats again.

It only took my 1/2 an hour to put up one lousy board.

Oh, and today, Aura went into heat and Pizzazz was completely ignoring her.  Just snoozing in the sun, but Hocus was going bananas.  So, I put her in with Hocus and the deed was done in minutes.  Left her in there for the rest of the day just to be sure.

So then I went to the big pasture and got the goldfish out of the horses' trough and then dumped the trough and put the fish in the pond.

BJS Iris, broke off a horn a few days ago.  Not too badly, just took it down to the nub but it was bleeding and looked kind of nasty so I got Chelsea to hold her while I disinfected, applied Polysporin and bandaged.  It's tricky to bandage a horn.  most of the time the bandage ended up over one of her eyes or it just fell off.  Took some practice to get it on right.

And now the time changes.  I don't like time changes.  It's already past my bedtime!

I got it figured!!

Yeah, I got it figured.  Ha!  Check out the breeding plans now.  Some needed changes.  Plus, not selling Rhea or Cinda this year.  I'm allowed to change my mind, right?
Yeah, it's all good.

My brain is in park, I swear...

I just looked at the breeding schedule I published on my website.  What a dummy I am.  I have Tweek in there twice!  What a little hussy.  Callahan and Captain!!  Well, ok, not likely because Callahan will turn Captain into a pile of broken parts.  So, I think I am going to not breed Lily this year and not use Callahan at all.  Wow, I am hampered by the number of kidding pens I have to use.  I could just let them kid on the goat barn but I'm really not ready for that yet.  How can I keep track of them if they are out there dropping babies everywhere??  No heat lamps either.  No, I'm not going to do that.  I'll just have to figure something out............................................................nope, haven't got it figured yet..................

What now??

I'm just having one heck of a time keeping up with this blog.  In some ways I'm kind of regretting starting it up again, but I enjoy doing this when I have the time.

Anyway, let's see what happened since my last post.  First of all, Chilly and I lost the battle with her horribly anemic condition and she passed away.  It was very sad and disappointing for me as we had worked so hard and it seemed she was beginning to show improvement.   Then she came down with this unbelievable case of diarrhea that just wouldn't quit and in her run down condition it was just too much for her to fight off.  The worst part is that her little boy, Bubble, was in the stall with her when she died and basically spent the night with his dead mother.  But in the morning when I went down to the barn to find Chilly dead, Bubble was fine.  Eating and looking to go outside and play with his friends..  He never cried for his mother once after that so I can only believe that seeing your own mother dead does not have the impact on a goat it does on us.  As with Moms that lose babies, it seems it's better for them to see the body lifeless and cold and they seem to understand that it's time to move on.

I've had sick babies die in the past and mom never saw them after they had died.  That mom will cry for days, sometimes longer.  But a mom that sees and feels her dead baby will go about her business like nothing happened, most of the time.  Some will still cry and call but most do not.

So now I am treating Jewel for the same condition though she is not as bad as Chilly was.  She is terribly thin though so we need to gt some meat on her bones.  But she is a tough one to feed.  She doesn't like anything but Calf Manna and though that is excellent food, it's not complete and she needs more calories.  I tried Cheerios this morning.  She had a few the lost interest.   She hasn't lost interest in food, just the extra things I try to get her to eat to put on some weight.  She eats her hay just fine.  Drinks enough too.  She likes Milk Bones but I can hardly give her a bowl of dog biscuits even if they are high in calories.  So I have ordered a high calorie supplement for her and some roasted soybeans.  Both should come tomorrow.  That should put some weight on her.  She gets knocked about by the other goats quite a bit so she is in the barn for the night and I let her out to graze during the day.  Except today, it's raining and she will be bullied in the barn so I put her inside for today.

What else....Oh yeah, I have changed my breeding plans for fall.  I'm going to breed Aura and Rhea instead of Pebbles and, obviously, Jewel.  Pebbles looked like she could use a season off this year.  I'll breed her again next year.  Thinking about bringing Spooky out of retirement for one last breed.  She looks so good it would be a shame not to breed her one last time....still thinking about that...

So other than that, nothing much going on here.  Considering showing a couple of my goats, maybe.  Not sure who yet.  I'm not sure I even want to when I think about disease transference and upsetting the goats just to show them off or win a pretty ribbon...I was asked if I wanted to but I'm having second thoughts...

Well, til next time....let's hope it doesn't take me so long...

Hang me out to dry...

I just want to crawl in a hole and die today.  I have the worst cold I've had in years.  My head feels like it's going to explode.  At least if it does, it will stop hurting.

Despite that fact that I am deathly ill, I still have to dose Chilly up and  make sure the buckets are all full.  Chelsea said she would come out and give me a hand  so that will help a lot.  After that, I'm heading for my warm toasty bed to hide for the day.

Thank you, Mother Nature!!

Mother Nature has finally seen fit to bless us with a day of steady drizzle.  The ground is very wet and the grass seems to have grown 2 inches in some places!!  It's funny what rain can do that a sprinkler cannot.  I've been watering the pastures in small areas for about 4 weeks now and even those places are looking greener and healthier.  All in one day.  I finally left the sprinklers off for the first night in a long while.  The goats aren't thrilled about the rain but they sure love the new grass!  I hope the growth can keep up with the appetites!

I've got 4 boys in the weaning pen and 5 girls in the other weaning pen.  All are doing very well.  Some of the does can take a rest from being a milk bar.  There are a few who put everything they have into feeding their babies and others who seem to take it in stride.  Well, they have a few months off now.  time to build themselves back up to be ready for breeding in the late fall.

I haven't decided on my breeding schedule for the coming fall yet.  I suppose I should get thinking about it.  I know I'm going to breed more Pygmies and Pocket goats and probably less Myotonic goats.  I know I'm not going to do the 2 shifts again.  I am going to breed in November and I'm only going to breed a total of 14 does.  I just have to decide which does I'm going to breed to which bucks!

I guess that will come after some careful consideration.  I know what i'm looking for in the babies so I just have to figure out who can best do that for me. 

Well, off to bed!

Night!

WE NEED RAIN!!

Nuff said...

Still praying for rain

Well, we got a sprinkle last night.  Just a tease.  Not enough to do any good.  The ground is rock hard and most of the pasture is bare and brown.  Calling for rain on Thursday but why do I think it will pass us by again?  And just think; winter is coming...

RIP Riding Mountain Treasures Lily

We lost Lily on Thursday.  My own feeling is the heat got to her.  It's been so hot and so dry for so long.....I know this is a normal state of affairs in some parts of the world and even North America but this is not normal in Southern Ontario.  In the late spring it rained for three weeks straight, heavily.  Our pastures were flooded, everything was soaked, the goats barely left the shelter.  Babies died because they either got crushed in the shelter or not fed because the dams didn't bother to stand up  to feed them.

It's been over a month since it rained here.  We are watering the pastures to keep a little bit of grass growing but I've been forced to feed hay.  The hay is for winter not July!  Now, of course, I will need to buy more hay for winter and because of this drought, hay is going to be in short supply.  There has already been many farmers who have given up on a second cut.  More people are going to be after the first cut which has already been spoken for.  Are the animals going to go hungry?  No, I don't think so, but hay will go up in price as things always do.  There will be enough hay to go around but it will be expensive.  And to cover costs farmers have to raise their prices and so on and so on.

The Myotonic babies reaching 12 weeks are in the weaning pen.  Boys with boys and girls with girls.  Don't want any unwed teenage mothers here!  All are doing well and learning to like the new Calf Manna pellets they are getting to help them forget about Mom and milk.  Lily's two little girls are still getting some milk to tide them over but weaning will begin for them soon as well.  I don't want to upset them more after the death of their Mom.  I know how they feel...


It's been almost a year since my own Mom passed away.  Aug 03.  It's been hard not to miss her every day.  I guess that part never changes....

So shoot me...

One of these days I might actually have time to keep up with this blog.  Of course, when I have time to keep up with this blog there will be nothing going on so...  Anyway,

The weather has been brutally hot this past two weeks, no rain, and no rain in the forcast.  Looks like the second cut hay will be non-existant.  That's not good news for anyone.  First of all, a lot of people buy second cut hay for their horses and cows and if there isn't going to be any or not very much, then those people are going to be buying up the first cut hay whenever they get a chance.  That means there may not be enough first cut hay for the people who usually buy it, like me!! 
We can only store about 1000 bales of hay, here at the Stables and we may need as much as 1400 bales for the winter so we have to find another 400 bales somewhere and hope that farmer will agree to store it for us.  That usually works.  On occasion we have had an agreement with a farmer to store hay, only to find out, when we get there, that the farmer went and sold our hay to some one else.  Boy, does that make you mad!!  We were counting in getting that hay and now we have to start searching for some and hope we find some before the animals go hungry.
So we've got most of our hay in now, still need another couple hundred bales to fill up our storage and then some to last the winter.  That is, unless I can sell a few more goats!!

I should be sleeping...

It seems winter has finally come to an end.  I heard Peepers in the pond tonight and it has been a most beautiful day!
Let's see, where did I leave you hanging last time?  Oh, right, Bonnie and her babies...  Well, there has been some action since then.  Geez, I'm not very good at this am I?
Ok, so, Bonnie had her babies,  Esme has finally had her babies.  One of each and they are really cute.  Then Sprocket has, at last, had her baby.  One darling little girl.  We are still waiting on Tweek.  I can't believe she is holding out so long.
All the babies except Esme's and Sprocket's are out in the pens for some good sunshine and fresh air.  They are just loving it!  They spent more time flying through the air than on the ground!  The moms are happy because they have more room to get away from the little hooligans.

Shadow is recovering nicely from her spaying surgery.  Except for the bare belly, you'd never know she had a major operation.  She's a good girl.  Ghost, her brother, is doing very well too.  He kept pulling her cone off so I finally left it off and Shadow hasn't even touched her incision.  Good Girl!

But, as I said, I should be sleeping so I'll sign off for today and hopefully, I will get more time over the next few weeks to keep us more up to date!

Thanks for reading!!  

Busy Little Beavers

Wow!  We have been some busy here at the Stables the last few days, as if that was something new!  We had a few days rest after Elly had her babies but not very long!  Next thing you know Lily the Pygmy goat has had 2 little doelings during the night and then Bonnie, the Pygmy goat goes into labour.  Well, I want to keep an eye on her because her babies died last year, whether they were still born or she didn't clean them, I don't know.  This year, I did not want to take any chances.  I stayed with her through the whole thing.  (Or so I thought).  Anyway, she is having a tough time pushing the first kid out, crying in pain and looking very tired, so I clean up, put on my rubber gloves and go in to see what the problem is.  At first, I can't determine what part of the baby I am feeling.  It really feels like a knee or hock joint but if that's the case, the poor baby is really twisted up.  Finally, I can get a grip on something, still not sure what and I pull.  Out comes a still born baby.  Feeling that there is more than one I go in again and find the nose of another baby.  Sure enough, with a lot of help, out he comes. I was gentle with him only for Mom's sake as I assumed he was also going to be still born.  Not so!  Little Alexander comes out with a cry and a wriggle and a big gasp of air.  YAYY!!  I am so happy!  Bonnie is so relieved!  I get him cleaned up and then Mom takes over.  While disposing of the little dead baby I keep an eye on Bonnie and baby for a while.  She is licking him and finally he gets up to nurse.  YAYY!!


After all that I take a break a go and visit my little girl staying down at Faye's.  


After dinner, I go back down to the barn to check on everything and feed the goats and lo and behold!!  Bonnie has had another baby!!  She is weak and can't stand up to nurse.  I really don't hold out much hope for her.  She is cold and wet.   Mom is so busy with the second baby she is ignoring the third one.   So I wrap her up in a warm towel, yell for Chelsea and we head down the road to Faye's AGAIN.  Of course, my dear friend, Faye, who has a bigger heart than anyone I know, takes her in.


So Emily has a friend.  Faye has named Emily's new friend Trouble and boy does she know how to find trouble.  She gets into EVERYTHING.


Both babies are doing remarkably well under Faye's wonderful care.  I really think she will end up keeping them.  How can you save something from certain death and then give it up?  That's ok if Faye keeps them.  If it wasn't for her, they would not be here.


So, we have a good many babies in the barn waiting for the stupid snow to melt so they can go outside.  Everything is a big sloppy mess and more snow on the way, I hear.  Will this winter never end??

More babies!

Wow!  I go out to the barn this morning and there are 3 babies in Elly's stall.  Just born maybe half an hour before.  She has cleaned off the two boys but the little girl is crying and still really gooey.  So I put the little girl under mom's nose and mom butts her into the wall.  Hmmmm....that's not good.  Try again, another butt.  Put her under mom to see if she will eat.  mom checks identity of said baby goat and finds out it's not one of the boys.  Butts her again.  So, I take her down to my very good friend, Faye's house and she will going to be spoiled rotten.  Stupid mommy goat.  Faye loves little goats and will take very good care of her.  Thanks Faye!! 

New Babies!!

March 18 is our lucky day!  Isabella and Bonnie the Nigerian Dwarf, both had their babies today.  Isabella had 2 cute little boys and Bonnie had two babies, as well.  The blackest one is a doeling and the whiter one is a buckling!!    Moms and babies are all doing well!!

 http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=339416&id=538687834&l=9301234a45

Pictures at the link above!!

A New Beginning?

Well, I'm not sure. See, when we had the barn rewired in the fall I told the electrician that I needed plugs for 4 heat lamps in each stall. So, he put them on the ceiling because that's "CODE". CODE is a four letter word as far as I'm concerned. The barn ceiling is eight feet high. Even with my arms stretched as tall as I can, I'm still not eight feet tall. I even tried positive thinking. Hunh! That didn't work. So here I am, first thing in the morning, in my jammies, climbing around stalls and dividers with a fold up stool that freaks out the goats, trying to reach the plugs for the heat lamps to unplug them. Warm enough today the lamps aren't needed. Not fun or smart. Ok, so back to the house for my morning cup of ambition and a shower. All the while my little pea brain is working, working....Still blank as a new black board, but working, working....Do I really want to be climbing around stalls and dividers twice a day for heat lamps?? No, not really. AHA!!!! My brain has a meltdown as a NEW IDEA flies in. (It's not used to that kind of thing.)
At Canadian Tire you can buy these doohickies that have one wire coming out that plugs into the socket and 5 wires coming out that you can plug things into. Kind of looks like a giraffe with 5 legs. Anyway, if I were to install one of these jiggabobbins on the centre post, plug it into the ceiling outlet and then plug all the heat lamps into it then I could use the switch on the wattsit to turn the lights on and off!!!

Well, son of a gun if it didn't work! All I have to do now is walk into one stall and push a button and WAALAA!!! Lights!!

Made my day!

So, The does are all in the barn as we speak. Esme, Isabella, Bonnie, and Elly and in Stall 1. Sprocket, Tweek, Mona and Gracie are in Stall 2. Lily, Bonnie the Nigerian, and Vee are in Stall 3. Tweek is the first one due on March 22nd but you never know who might just decide to kid early. Esme kidded 10 days early last year and she was still outside and it was cold the day she kidded. Fortunately, we found her right after she had kidded and got her and her babies under the heat to warm up! Don't want to see that happen again this year!

All is good at the Stables today!

Hell Hounds and Yucky Weather

So the Hell Hounds, Shadow and Ghost are still hanging out with the goats. Shadow is going in to be spayed the first week of April. Ghost is not going to like that. Well, neither is Shadow! But the two of them just hang out in the snow and crappy weather, not caring that they are getting soaked and their fur is freezing. They are about 55 lbs now. Due for their third set of shots. I fashioned harnesses for them out of horse halters. Ghost was ok with his. Shadow had a complete melt down when I put hers on. Not the least bit impressed. Can't imagine why. Well, ok, Shadow is a big fuzzy chicken s**t. Last week we gave them some chunks meat from our roast beef and Ghost growled at everything that even might have looked at his. Shadow was ready to give hers to the barn cats if they would just stop staring at her!!

Anyway, all is well as we approach kidding. Hoping all the does do well and we have no problems! We'll have 12 in the kidding pens right off the bat. March 15th is the big day when I'll be running around catching does who don't want to be caught and penning them up. most of them are too waddle-y and fat to run fast anyway!

Babies on the way!

Soon the barn will be filled with the cheerful sound of baby goats! Tweek, Bonnie, and many other does are due to kid near the end of March and the beginning of April. The barn is ready for them with the 3 big stalls divided into 4 kidding pens
each. The little stall could be divided into 2 kidding pens but we don't need quite that many pens so we left it alone. The mineral dishes are full, the water buckets are clean, the hay is ready to go in. All we need are the goats!!

Updates Galore

Welcome to our updates Blog.

It's a little difficult to update the website on an everyday or frequent basis because of what it takes to get it published so I thought I might try this. There might be the occasional picture but I think most of it will be text so we can keep you updated on what's going on, who's kidding, who's not kidding etcetcetc.

I don't know. It might prove fun it might be as boring as all get out. Let's give it a try!